Can you be a Kids Life Coach if you aren't a parent?
May 15, 2024
Today is International Day of Families and our global network of Kids Life Studio® Coaches are reaching children and their parents in various ways!
it was on also on this day in 2018 that I started preparing and planning for my official Secret Parent book launch at the Museum of Childhood in London, England.
To be hosted on World Mental Health Day I wanted my event to be a gathering of family, friends and clients to celebrate the “birth” of my new “book baby”. For somebody childless not by choice this was a big deal!
At the time I remember feeling intense anxiety!! I was second guessing myself! Scared of judgement and wanting to play it small. I felt sad. Overwhelmed but most of all very vulnerable. I was a Kids Life Coach and what would my clients say knowing the truth about me and my mental health struggles?
What would they think when I told them that I had previously been incorrectly labelled with a mental illness…all at a time when my life fell apart because my husband and I were unable to have children.
My book would lay my story bare….a story of complex trauma….that led to the unravelling of my mind and will to live as I sunk into a deep dark depression.
All of these 'secrets whispered out loud' and ALSO not a parent! I started questioning myself and my purpose and wondering how parents would perceive me as a coach for their child?
Yet here I am....two decades and counting and still coaching children and leading a global organisation that celebrates children's strengths and builds their resilience.
So today I’m taking a moment to celebrate my perfect family with my husband and our rescue dog Jackson. I’m also celebrating just how far I’ve come.
The pain is no longer there on days like this. Just a gentle acceptance that all of this was part of a bigger plan for me. As a global advocate for child wellbeing I get to be a secret parent to children around the world I will never meet!
I get to reframe my personal experiences into my life’s work and purpose. You see sometimes life doesn’t quite work out as we think it should but there’s always a flip side to that coin.
I feel blessed today…married for 25 years not having a traditional family with children but so richly rewarded in leading a global network of kids life coaches with our collective mission to show up as secret parents to children who have been let down, abandoned, abused or neglected.
Not all families may look the way you think they should. Not all Kids Life Coaches may look the way you think they should.
You see, not being a parent is my superpower when it comes to coaching children. It means I don't project my own parenting styles or inadequacies or expectations onto my clients. It means I don't come from a space of judgement but rather one of clarity. I see the big picture because I am always able to sit on the frame and look in. I am not part of the sometimes messy parenting journey.
CLICK HERE TO WATCH A MASTERCLASS THAT ANSWERS THE QUESTION: CAN PARENTS COACH THEIR OWN CHILDREN?
That being said, being a Kids Life Coach who is a parent also gives you other super powers I may not have...like being able to commiserate, empathise better and to relate to struggle.
As a Kids Life Coach, I try to see the world through my own eyes and I view family very differently to the traditional biological parent.
Having worked with street children (one of the chapters in my Secret Parent book!) I saw first hand the little “family pods” of kids on the street. Looking out for each other, sharing food and keeping each other warm at night.
So today I honour all families….the ones with parents and children, the ones with fur babies…the solo ones…the adopted ones…the child headed households….the grieving ones…the disconnected ones…
As a Kids Life Coach who is a mom to many yet a mother of none…I am sending so much love your way if you happen to feel pain on a day like today. If you happen to be childless and you believe you can't coach children as effectively because you aren't a parent...I am here to tell you...this is your sign....step into your power and be the change you want to see in the world like Ghandi said!
Being childless not by choice is not easy but rest assured when you find your purpose and you live it, breath it and act on it the sun comes out again!
Happy International Day of Families! Keep coaching and keep inspiring those little people who may need you as an added layer of support when their own parents may not be in a position to show up for them!
Wishing you so much love and zeal!
Zelna
Kids Life Studio® Coach Academy Founder
