Sometimes we try to hard to fit in. We strive for perfection. We people please. We perform according to other people’s expectations.

The result....

We end up losing ourselves.

I can speak from personal experience as to what it feels like to want to be a biological mom but knowing this will never ever be possible.

I have yearned to participate in “mommy” conversations about pregnancy, teething, breast feeding but I will always be an outsider.

Most of all I will never fully understand what it means to have protective instincts as a parent.

Yet my whole entire life revolves around being an advocate for children’s mental well-being. I feel so strongly and passionately about getting it “right” in childhood purely because I can remain objective.

This vantage point allows me to see the unvarnished truth that parents can fail to see. It doesn’t make me a judge...it doesn’t mean I have all the answers...it doesn’t mean I am always well...

Compassion is a concept foreign to some. The dictionary says:

"The meaning of compassion is to recognize the suffering of others and then take action to help. Compassion embodies a tangible expression of love for those who are suffering."

As a kids life coach, this should sit at the core of how you support children. Whilst not all children may be "suffering" in the true sense of the word, nonetheless taking their personal situation into account is what counts. 

Sometimes when things get painful because the truth is to hard to bare, people shut down and disconnect.   As a kids life coach, choosing to be curious and choosing to connect is harder than choosing to walk away and giving up.  Shutting yourself down and joining the ranks of those who 'judge' a child who is labelled or badly behaved, is avoiding the path of compassion. 

To be vulnerable means to say things as they are. As a kids life coach, your job is to not sit on the fence. You need to be brave and...

It absolutely amazes me how so many people profess to be a “Child Wellbeing Expert” and “Kids Life Coach”. They are well meaning and obviously have a BIG heart for helping children. But....does this make them an expert?

Come on, you need more than a short course online to become an expert! Also you simply cannot do an adult life coaching course and think you can coach children successfully! Not to mention that if somebody has never even been exposed to children or had any experience, it will take them extra long to be considered an "expert".

So what makes you an expert as a Kids Life Coach?

Well for me it boiled down to these 3 things for me:

1. Ask for help:  When I started coaching almost two decades ago, I had already attended a multitude of courses and I had two degrees - one in teaching and in psychology of education. Yet....nothing seemed to make 100% sense because I had a whole lot of puzzle pieces but I didn't know what the bigger picture looked...

I have trained and certified life coaches for children in over 40 countries since 2009. Some of them go on to be very financially successful and others give up and go back to "work" and give up on their dreams.

Why?

Well I have identified that getting clients as a Kids Life Coach is not about "selling"....it is about this ONE thing...

SERVING!

You might be wondering, why does this matter? Perhaps you run a successful coaching practice with lots of clients and work you enjoy. But let me ask you this – do any of the following sound familiar?

• You hold your breath at tax time and hope you have enough to cover your bills.
• Seeing the number in your bank account stresses you out so you avoid even looking at it.
• You aren't comfortable with telling prospective clients how much you charge.
• You don’t know, on any given day, how much cash is in your business bank account.
• It feels like your clients take forever to pay you yet you don't enjoy reminding them to do so.

So why am I...

I have been speaking to a lovely mom today who feels she has failed her daughter. This wasn’t deliberate or through neglect....she had just faced lots of trauma herself and felt unsupported.

She said one of the hardest things for her was feeling judged and being told repeatedly she was a “bad mom”.

Be mindful of judging those that you perceive to be “bad” parents. There is always a backend story....that you don’t know....as a Kids Life Coach!

As a Secret Parent I have seen how hard it can be for biological parents. Wowzer!!! Sometimes life can throw curve balls to families that knock them back dramatically.

In my experience coaching children for over two decades, the one thing that conquers all of this....

Is when parents find unconditional love grounded in compassion.

So stop judging the parents of the children that you coach and just try to put yourself in their shoes....empathy can take you a long way. Parents don't need judgement, they need...

Quite a few people have asked me if they can “coach” children with only our Level 1 Kids Life Coaching Theory training.

I thought this pyramid would help to show the progression to being considered an expert as a world class kids life coach.

Your journey to coaching children starts with theory but what truly matters is getting access to a toolkit, a coaching model and system that helps to refine and define your income and impact as a career kids life coach.

In our experience those who stay at theory level usually don’t manage to launch a financially viable business. They are swept up in the time consuming “game” of figuring out how to get sustainable results. They do as many courses as they can, learning....learning....learning...learning. Which is a good thing...BUT they struggle to take action.

Why?

They don't know where to start to get replicable, sustainable, ethical and measurable results each and every time they coach a child. They play a...

This morning I asked a trainee Kids Life Coach who has not achieved deadline for submitting her portfolio of evidence and case studies:

“What is your dream?”

She couldn’t answer me...but yet she could tell me what wasn’t working in her life....what you focus on is what you always get more of!!

When we first spoke on her initial interview and strategy call, she had big dreams but life is pulling her in many directions. All I was hearing were words spoken from a space of fear. 

She was feeling VERY fearful...she didn't have enough time. She didn't know if she would succeed as a kids life coach...She didn't know why she wasn't able to be more positive. She didn't think Covid would allow her to launch. She didn't think parents could afford her fees. 

I have BIG audacious dreams and many people have called me a visionary and blue sky thinker...I have achieved many goals but have taken baby steps along the way!! However, I have never ever entertained...

Covid Schomid! I am over this...

I just spoke to a lovely lady in the USA who launched her new personal development business for children just before first lockdown last year.  She approached me because she was finding it tricky to figure things out on her own.  She said lockdown had changed things and parents 'didn't have money'...this is when I knew...

She hadn't yet been resourceful enough to realise that during this hardest time that ALL of us have faced...there is HUGE opportunity. 

Whilst she has experienced parents not being able to afford her services, I don't think it is because of lack of finances. I sensed it was because she had a lack of belief in her own programme and in herself. That doesn't mean she doesn't know what she is doing...because she is highly qualified and highly passionate. 

What that means is that when things got hard for her...she backed down. Instead of stepping up. What I admire most about this conversation is that she admitted that...

I once had one of my certified kids life coaches ask a question about a mother she was dealing with.

Her client’s husband had died years prior and she had never found the right time to tell her child who had been a toddler at the time. Her child just came to believe that daddy was away for work.

This is obviously an extreme example, but hiding the truth from children can often do more damage than the initial hurt. Sadness is a human emotion and although this mom was well intentioned because she thought she was protecting her child from the grief of their dads death, can you imagine what will happen when the truth eventually emerges.

Not only is this mother suppressing her own right to grieve the death of her husband, but she is wearing a mask that will forever separate her child from her in later years. That kind of act although coming from a place of preservation will do unspeakable harm to the underlying trust that should always be the basis of every parent child...

I really understand what it means to not want to get out of bed somedays! Having gone through various serious bouts of depression and being hospitalised twice in my past...I understand first hand how hard things can sometimes be if you are faced with trauma. 

Yet, when it comes to working with children there is a certain code of ethics and principles of child safeguarding where we need to CHOOSE to show up professionally. This is despite how lousy you may be feeling mentally, emotionally and physically...

Now this may not be you...perhaps you are one of those Kids Life Coaches who consistently has good days and never has wobbles. You get everything right and your clients are flowing towards you steadily and consistently. You are always healthy. Your mind is always strong. You are always emotionally stable. 

However if this isn't you...don't worry...that is not me either!!  I am perfectly imperfect and still navigating the ups and downs of life just like you....